“…Ms. Hilton later earned her general equivalency diploma (GED) after some homeschooling. Passing the test certifies the taker has academic skills on par with a typical high-school graduate. Connect the dots and you’ll realize [sic] that, according to our educational system, Paris possesses the intelligence of an average American high-school graduate. Whether that’s merely terrifying or a sign of the coming apocalypse, we leave to you.”